Overcome jealousy at work – Eminetra

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We find it easy to start our day with congratulations on the best times when you are safe, confident, and able to keep tabs on your paper. Jealousy can also creep in. Threatened by colleagues and outside rivals Super star In turn, Question Our own dreams, talents and followings, we fall into the trap of comparison.

“It’s a natural person,” says Tanya Menon, business professor at the Business School at Ohio State University. “We are social animals. We want to know where we stand in the hierarchy.

What if the answer is: isn’t that as expensive as that guy in the treasurer who kills him? How to overcome jealousy, anxiety And do you even get angry and prevent them from interfering with your career? Can jealousy ever help?

The first step is simply to acknowledge your feelings and refrain from judging or fulfilling them, says Dr. Menon. She defines true jealousy as destructive. You try to interfere with the success of your colleagues and refuse to cooperate.

“I really think dangerous things will happen when we deny it,” she said. “We say, ‘No, I’m fine, but I’m going to attack others in all kinds of harmful ways.’ ”

How you feel Compete with colleagues It is not toxic in itself. The trick is to remember that success is not a scarce resource and to let your emotions drive your own game. Hoping to outdo worthy rivals can boost us in this way.

Such a bottom-up comparison is “motivating but painful,” says Dr. Menon.

When a new employee joined the team of Deanna Hutchison, Cleveland-based Benefits Broker at BBG, she got tired and “worried that she might be better than me.” I was also relieved that he was helping me with the workload.

Former teacher Hutchison jumped into the role of an account manager with no formal training and learned while learning. The new hires had years of experience and an assertive demeanor which Mr. Hutchison greeted in a milder tone. What if no one needs her anymore?

She confessed her concerns and approached her boss. Speaking of which, he reassured her that the company still cherished her and needed her. Yet he was sometimes stabbed when a colleague suggested a specific idea, such as suggesting a new software system that would increase efficiency.

Hatchson began to wonder, “Does his suggestion really help me?” ”

“Actually,” she realized.

Being on the receiving side of jealousy can also be enviable. When working for an entertainment company many years ago, Erin Person had a coworker who often seemed indignant when he redeemed or received perks such as tickets to events. I did.

“His reaction was, ‘Why haven’t I received it?’ Said Person, CEO of ConnectEO Network, an online community for entrepreneurs now based in Los Angeles. Declared. Mr Parson said he was unhappy with the negative chatter in the office, confronted his colleagues, wanted them to be collaborators and didn’t understand why they seemed to be in conflict . ..

Erin Person wanted a frank conversation to make difficult office relationships easier.

Photo:
Tommy B

She wanted the story to set the stage for a warm relationship, but instead, her coworkers left. (However, Office gossip At least dead. )

One still wonders if some of the tension came from the fact that they were both black women and only two in the department. Maybe her coworkers thought the workplace didn’t have room for the two of them, she says.

Melody Wilding, executive coach and social worker in Jersey City, NJ, notices growing doubt. Impostor Syndrome During the pandemic, among its customers.

“We are always alone in our heads,” she said.

Share your thoughts

How do you deal with feelings of jealousy? Join the conversation below.

Even if we reappear in the world, jealousy prompts workers to either throw passive-aggressive thorns or simply back down, avoiding the encounters they fear. Such moves can be self-fulfilling prophecies and can undermine employee promotion prospects, said Wilding, author of the book Trust Yourself on Navigating Emotions in the Workplace. She recommends that workers keep a “pride file” that records their earnings each week.

“You’re the one making the buzz about yourself,” Wilding says. “It’s not just about relying on others to recognize you and say that you are great.”

Jessica Ko, CEO of San Francisco-based cloud storage company Playbook.com, personally congratulates employees via direct messages. She says spreading compliments company-wide tends to evoke Agita among workers who always seem to be wondering, “Will this person be the CEO’s favorite?” ” I noticed. Ko said.

Rand Fishkin, the current CEO of Seattle-based market research software company Spark Toro, has idolized leading tech founders by creating marketing software company Moz for years. Spent.

“You look, you go, ‘Well, I’m just not pretty,’” he said. “Why can’t I take a break?” “

He says the obsession at times encouraged him to take the business the wrong way, chase after venture capital, and work hard for himself and his team.

Rand Fishkin continued to compare himself to other founders of the technology.

Photo:
SparkToro

Eventually, he resigned as CEO of Moz, rethinking his priorities and moving things down the list, including achieving exponential growth goals.

Recently, he sometimes feels a slight pain of jealousy when he hears the success of other founders. But that feeling is like praise, he says, “Yes, that’s the person I want to be. “

Don’t let yourself be the envy

How to overcome jealousy and not hurt yourself at the office:

* Recognize your emotions: Don’t deny or judge negative emotions when they arise. Keep in mind that comparing yourself to others can be painful at times, but it’s quite natural.

* Forge it if you need to: Even if you want to be the one to win the promotion, send a congratulatory note. Professor Tanya Menon says you will start to see yourself as a bigger person.

* Build trust: Create a proud file that records your accomplishments and strengths, says executive coach Melody Wilding.

* Rethink your habits: Do the people you follow on social media inspire you or just make you feel bad? CEO Rand Fishkin recommends evaluating what you read and consume online. If the interaction is more harmful than helpful, stop following it or stay a bit further.

Write to Rachel Finezeig [email protected]

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